Now what do I do!

I talked to my brother tonight. I asked him if mom called him and he said no. So we got to talking about it more and he said "If you are that curious about her receiving the package then I will call her to find out if she has started reading them." He called her and then called me back and said she didn't get anything in the mail. I told Jay I didn't understand because I was looking right at my confirmation delivery number and it says that it was delivered today at 3:13 I asked him to please call her back to tell her that. He called her back and said she sounded weird and he thinks she got it but who knows. Then I asked my brother if I should reprint everything and send it again but with a signature confirmation this time. He said he would have done that anyway. Jason told me to wait a couple of days and then do it. I asked my brother if I should send it to one of her sisters or brothers and he said they would just send it back to me, so it was at this time I started to cry. I told him it hurts because they all hate me and I have done nothing to them. My brother reminded me that you don't have to do anything to them for them not hate's the way they were raised he says :( I guess tomorrow I will call my postal service to figure out what happened. It says it was delivered though. I hope her husband didn't throw them away or something. the process of writing this, my brother called me again. Apparently my mother called him and told him she did in fact receive it but her husband was "screening" the letters so she would not get hurt...............(with a confused look on my face)WHAT!?!? Then she told my brother she has "No Comment" and got off the phone with him! My brother is mad because she lied to him about receiving it in the first place. So am I. So of course I break down crying once again. My brother made a nice attempt to make me feel is what he said "I know how much this hurts, you have done everything you can do, you did the right thing, but you can't let this control your emotions, you know how she is and there is nothing you can do to change her. Just keep praying for her."
I am just heartbroken, I got my hopes up so high as I usually do.

I don't know what she has told her husband about me but I am crushed! Those letters are from daughter to mother. I did not spend weeks, days, and hours being meticulous and careful with my words, structure of the letters, and sharing my heart with her for them to be read by her husband who I have never even met. These were personal, respectful, loving, and she has "No comment" !?!?..........I even sent a mother's day card with it and "No comment" !?!?
I can't call her because she hangs up on me and if her husband picks up he won't let me talk to her and now he is "screening" her personal mail because she said he is her protector...... I am at a loss....... :(
I thought for sure she would at least say something about Michael. What grandmother would not have at least one comment about that? I will still be on my knees praying for her.

Pray for me, I really need strength to not give up hope and continue to give this to God. I am emotionally drained. I better go, it's getting late and I can't stop crying.


  1. Jennifer said...
    I am heart broken for you this morning. I can't imagine what it is like to be rejected by one's mother. Remember, Jesus is on your side and he has suffered even worse rejection. He can give you comfort in this situation. I know you are seeking that with every breath.
    The Hall's said...
    I am so sorry! Like Jennifer said this is something I can not imagine. You did what you were supposed to do by reaching out to her. I know you spent lots of time praying over what to do and now you just have to keep praying. I will pray ultimately for a resolution to all this and in the meantime for you to be at peace.

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