I don't know what to do

I am kinda feeling a bit torn right now on what to do with Michael. He is mostly sleeping through the night except when he wakes because he can't find his passy. One night he was crying, we apparently didn't hear him, and he was so worked up we had an awful time trying to settle him down!

I have not broken him from his passy yet.

First, some babies need to suck for comfort more than others, Michael is one of those. However, he is requiring it less and less on some days. I was once told that a dentist said if you try to break them before they are ready then they will find something else to suck on like their thumb (which was said to not be good for teeth coming in) or suck on their tongue like I did (which pushed my teeth out to a large over bite) when my mother wouldn't let me suck on my thumb and yet she let my brother.....hmmm.

Second, Amber sucked on her passy until she was 2 years old or so and she has almost perfect teeth her dentist told us, and she hasn't had any work done on them.

Also, Alyssa sucked her thumb and never a passy. Now, she did stop at 2 or so but that was because Jason had the flu and I took a bath in the girls bathroom and forgot my razor. She got a hold of it and sliced the padding on the thumb she sucked on, so between the bandage and pain...it broke her. She never cried not being able to suck but she did whimper at night a little when going to bed.

Okay, here is my problem.

I would probably let M cry-it-out forcing him to learn to sooth himself at night so I don't have to get up, go into his room, find his passy, and pop it in his mouth so he drifts back to sleep because that is all he wants. This is a big disruption in my sleep being pregnant and having to get up with Jason is taking it's tole on me.

To make something clear-- He, Michael, would not be crying out of pain or suffering but rather a change in routine of soothing himself by crying-it-out. But it's always harder for mom to listen to than it is for baby to go through it. I can handle that part! Been there done that and they don't remember it anyway. AND, it does not damage anything physiological.

The problem is, Jason has to get up at 4:15 in the morning, and I get with him to make his breakfast, lunch, make sure he does not forget anything so the class will not be punished, and to pray with him before sending him off. He has to have a good nights sleep and rest. Sound travels in the house! And, M has strong set of lungs, and is LOUD.

My reasons for letting M cry-it-out.

One-- so it's not a disruption in my sleep or his any longer. It's important that babies get good sleep for growth and other purposes.

Two--I DON'T want to be getting up in different hours of the night between Michael and a newborn unless I want to physically kill myself with sleep deprivation!

Reasons for letting M cry-it-out.

Jason HAS to get a good nights sleep and adequate rest in order to make it through the academy. His class does not graduate until July 11th. One fella was let go from the academy because he had a 2 week old baby and was not getting sleep and it was effecting his training etc...so they let him go.

I have a plan for Jason when our baby comes. I don't want what happened to Jason's class mate to happen to him unless at that point in the academy they let the class go in later than 6am like the previous graduating class got to do near graduation.

I plan to have Jason sleep in Amber's bed and Amber will sleep with me while I keep the baby in the bassinet in my room since I have a rocking chair and most importantly a very close bathroom! I figured this way the baby crying or waking to feed will not be a disruption to Jason's sleep and rest.

There is NO way I can take care of a new born and walk all the way down the hall to M to find his passy in the middle of the night after having given birth and getting up for feedings.

So, I don't know how to get him sleeping through the night without it disturbing Jason. I don't know what to do!


  1. Jennifer said...
    Just gonna toss out the first ideas that come to mind... brainstorming here so I won't self edit. Take them or leave them...

    -Sleep in Michael's room
    -Assign one of the girls to nighttime passy duty and let them sleep in his room
    -Don't try to break him now and put lots of passys in his crib so he can find one
    -Suck it up
    -Take naps
    -Pray a lot
    -Lay out all of Jason's stuff the night before and just wake up long enough to pray with him, then go back to bed (he should consider your needs too at this time)
    -Ummm... that is about all I have for you.

    Like I said, I didn't self edit, so take and do what you please with these...

    Best wishes!
    The Hall's said...
    You know my opinion on all of this already (you know I am Hitler mama! HA!). Yes, you need to get M as settled as possible before the baby gets here. It is tough with 2that young. It made things so much better because I had Lizzie trained to go to sleep on her own so I didn't have her having to have me if Millie woke her up. She would just go right back to sleep. I think I may have told you this-I had planned to take Lizzie's paci at 12 months and she loved it-had to have it all the time but because Millie was on her way my pediatrician told me to wait until 15 months so that Lizzie did not have so many adjustments to deal with. He said 15 months was the limit he recommended because the longer they had it the more dependent they became. My old pediatrician said 2 was the limit. Lizzie was so much easier than I thought. She cried for 1 day and night and then it was over and she is very strong willed. Now I have Millie who is the ultimate thumb sucker. Our pediatrician said the thumb would not cause any real damage unless they sucked it beyond 5 and after that it could be really bad and I know of a child who has major problems because he sucked it until like 8. Our pediatrician suggested just reminding her constantly to not suck it and that is what we do. Part of me says let Michael has his paci until maybe a couple of months after the baby is born since he won't be 2 until Aug but then you have the issue of him not sleeping well because he is looking for his paci. I think if you did it now he would be over it by the time the baby gets here and not want the baby's. Lizzie would occasionally pop Millie's in her mouth after we took hers away but I would say "no, that's Millie's and she is a baby" or whatever and she would move on. Wow, that was long!
    Jennifer said...
    Oh, and I wanted to add... I TOTALLY feel your pain.

    Charlotte wakes 2 times a night to nurse and now I am waking up early to go watch a little boy at his house. She is down from 3 times a night just 2 weeks ago... we are taking it slow and steady here since I have a little more time than you until the baby comes.

    No matter what you do, you are a good momma and I am sure Michael will be fine.
    JGWmom said...
    I've hit my 40's and my mind is gone!!! I do know that we used to put more than one pacifier in the crib at night at both ends just so they could find one if they awoke in the night. I also know that we broke them all of their pacifiers by age 2, but I have lost my memory of details. I do know that we took away Graham's during a cold...he couln't breath with it in his mouth. So sorry. I know I'm not much help, but I will certainly pray for you!

    Love ya!
    JGWmom said...
    P.S. You may try giving him a special "nite-nite" friend to cuddle...instead of his pacifier. Justus had a special bear...Graham would just pick out something each night...still does, Wesley has an Elmo he likes to sleep with. Just a thought! :)
    queen of sheba said...
    Not sleeping in my kids room... plus, it's not fair to do that to any husband. I'm Not assigning my kids who already sleep through the night and need their sleep to do MY job, plus they would never hear him. Putting lots of passy's in his crib is hilarious LOL. However, It's easy to tell someone to suck it up when you only have one child (but you know I love you!!) napping can be a challenge with three kids etc...And, of course Jason's attire is put together the night before...obvious one.

    Also, C is nursing for comfort, she's not hungry or starving, and it's also a comfort for you as well because it is hard to let go. She really does need to learn how to sooth herself, I went through it with Alyssa and worse with Amber because she was 5 yrs old...the older they get the worse it is to train them and it's not fair to the child. The crying she will go through is nothing compared to what is coming your way especially if you don't train her now. It's easy to give in but at what point do you stop?

    No mother would let their baby play with a knife no matter how hard they cry or scream because it would hurt them. Well, it's the same principle with teaching them how to sooth themselves in oder to get a much needed good nights sleep for proper growth and mental development.

    Children are master manipulators. Wait till she hits preteen years! However, you can't wait until then because it will be too late.

    Cameron--I wish I had your strength and tolerance!

    Shannon--LOL your mind is not gone LOL M does have a red puppy he is addicted to that he takes every where and sleeps with...so I am banking on this to see us through. It won't take long.

    Also, M has gone the entire day even with taking his first nap with out his passy. So, hopefully the second nap will go fine, but he can cry-it-out. Then it all begins tonight and I will let you know how it goes.

Post a Comment