I'm so excited! I always kiss Michael and I make the kissing sound so he can make the connection. He started doing it today after he got up from his nap with daddy!!!!! We are having soooo much fun! I wish you all could see him do it! He is soooo sweet!
Today is a good day ;)

A little game we play with Michael has become a favorite of his. A few months ago put a video on here showing Michael laughing while playing "where's the baby". This morning we are up stairs while Jason was in the kitchen taking a final exam online. After he was done he came up stairs to see us and started changing his clothes to take a nap before going into work. Jason put Michael on the bed asking him if he wanted to take a nap with daddy. While we left him on the bed I was standing at the foot of our bed and Jason is talking to me as he is changing. I look over at Michael because I heard him giggle. He started pulling the blanket up over his eyes and would laugh while he pulled it back down. I made the connection fast as to what he was doing and smiled because it's his first time doing it to us. So I started saying "Where's the baby?" and he would pull the covers over his eyes again and pull them back down quickly. He started the game himself this time. We were laughing so hard and impressed that he did that! Children learn so fast, Grow so fast, and love us so much that moments like this makes me really impatient to get a camera again to share this moment with you all!

Oaky, Jason talked me into writing on my blog about my funny little story about our 6 yr old and her curiosity while I was out to breakfast with my girls.

I wasn't going to write about it because I went to tell a friend about what happened and she politely corrected me by telling me the lady is "African American", I just smiled. I have just one small problem with this. Not all black people are from Africa or have ancestors from Africa, just as not all "white" people are American or come from America. I found more than one friend of mine become offended at being called African-American when they nor their ancestors come from Africa. In fact, Jason and I have a friend who is from Zimbabwe Africa, but to me he looked American the first time I met him. The funny part is the first time he spoke to me I asked him if he was from Scotland LOL! ;p Fortunately he found me funny and died laughing at me, then he told where he was from and his parents still live there and we are still great friends. He periodically will talk to me in his language leaving me....well......confused LOL!

Anyway, I said all that to give myself a disclaimer to telling what happened and to avoid me appearing like a racist to someone reading my blog who does not know me.

Well.....if you have children then there has been a time or a hundred times where you wished you could crawl into a dark hole because your innocent baby asks you a question, and not just any question, but one you would prefer in private, but instead your child has to ask you in public, and where everyone can hear you especially the very person they are inquiring about. After all, kids are very curious by nature and mommie and daddy know everything......right?


So here it is....
I took the kids to Chick-fil-a Saturday morning for breakfast. Which by the way is my favorite place! While we are eating Alyssa asked me...."Mommie, are black people Christians?"................my eyes got huge, I smiled and thought "Okay, where is there a hole to crawl into when you need one!?!?!?" A couple tables down a black lady was having breakfast with her little girl! I could have died. I called Jason right after she said that hoping he would somehow rescue me from that very moment........but, he died laughing and asked me what I told her. First I reminded her not to talk with her mouth full, then I told her we can talk about it when we get in the van.

If you have never been to Texas De Brazil you have to go! Here is the website to get some more info. Plus, the site will explain themselves better than I can ;)

www.texasdebrazil.com/

Last week Jason and I celebrated our 7th wedding anniversary! It was perfect! He took me to Texas De Brazil. I had never heard of this place until talking with Cameron. She and her hubby went there for Valentine's day, I asked Jason if he had ever heard of it and he said yes. He told me he new about since he has been to Brazil. I was thinking.....why haven't you said something lol. Anyway, he saved up and surprised me for our anniversary. He did say that it's food you will never forget!
When we got there it was incredible! There is no menu, you start out with the salad bar that has a wide variety of different foods most I had never had before and delicious. Once you are back at your table you have as much time as you want to enjoy your plate until you are ready for the meat! Each person at your table gets a little round card, one side is orange, and one side is green. Orange is for pacing yourself, and when you are ready for meat you flip it over to the green side and the guys come to your plate with large skewers of meat that they either slide on your plate or you use your tongs to take hold of a piece of steak they slice for you. OH MY WORD..........the Meat is so good, melt in your mouth good!! There are 8 different meats from what I recall.
Now, you all know me LOL......I made a couple of mistakes while eating there like saying "yes" to one of the waiters when he asked me if I was done....what I failed to say was "no, I am pacing myself" so he took my plate away so when one of the guys came to bring me meat after I had asked for Flank Steak I had no plate LOL.....they laughed at me lol and Jason graciously gave me his plate then the waiter who took my plate looked confused and brought me a clean plate while laughing at me. Did I mention most of them were laughing at me lol.
Anyway, it was really good and of course I had to have dessert. The waiter came by asking if we had room for dessert........normally I would say no, and it was a lot of food but I had never had cream brulee! Jason was full but I had to have that cream brulee. I told the waiter I have had three kids so I know "how" to eat LOL
It was expensive but definitely worth it! Plus, you don't have to wait at all for your food! We didn't really talk that much oddly enough.......but then again we were eating and nodding our heads agreeing with the taste of our food lol

Jenn--Thank you for reminding me that Jesus suffered worse than we did from rejection. I was sharing with Jason last night how much I feel rejected.

Cameron--Thank you so much for praying for me to be in peace but ultimately a resolution that only God can give. I was actually sharing with Jason this morning about how much peace I feel because I did the right thing. I was scared to death, but I did it.

The kind of peace I have is knowing I sought God with every word I wrote. I know I did the right thing, and I finally, after many many long years of always blaming myself for everything and asking her to forgive me....even for things she said I did but never did, including apologizing for being "me".....I can't do this anymore! It has had a terrible impact on my self-esteem ( I was feel like I am never good enough for her), and it does not honor God. Cameron, you are right....I am very hard on myself and I have got to learn to love myself! I guess I have always struggled with this because in my mind "If momma doesn't love me who does?". God loves me, I am his creation, and through him I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I am at peace knowing the tone in my letters were completely respectful, loving (by reminding her how much I miss and love her), and the door for reconciliation is always open for her to make things right with me. Although this pain weighs heavy on my heart, I am so honored I have friends and sisters in the lord to lift me and my mother to God. As long as she is alive there is always hope. I am just thankful I even have a mother weather good or bad when so many people in the world don't. Thank you so much for you love and prayers!! I hope someday I will be able to minister to someone who's heart is where mine is right now. We serve an awesome God and I hope that everything I am going through will be preparation for God's work because ultimately I desire to honor God with my actions and help further the kingdom of Christ.

I talked to my brother tonight. I asked him if mom called him and he said no. So we got to talking about it more and he said "If you are that curious about her receiving the package then I will call her to find out if she has started reading them." He called her and then called me back and said she didn't get anything in the mail. I told Jay I didn't understand because I was looking right at my confirmation delivery number and it says that it was delivered today at 3:13 pm.......so I asked him to please call her back to tell her that. He called her back and said she sounded weird and he thinks she got it but who knows. Then I asked my brother if I should reprint everything and send it again but with a signature confirmation this time. He said he would have done that anyway. Jason told me to wait a couple of days and then do it. I asked my brother if I should send it to one of her sisters or brothers and he said they would just send it back to me, so it was at this time I started to cry. I told him it hurts because they all hate me and I have done nothing to them. My brother reminded me that you don't have to do anything to them for them not hate you.....it's the way they were raised he says :(..........so I guess tomorrow I will call my postal service to figure out what happened. It says it was delivered though. I hope her husband didn't throw them away or something.

Well.......in the process of writing this, my brother called me again. Apparently my mother called him and told him she did in fact receive it but her husband was "screening" the letters so she would not get hurt...............(with a confused look on my face)WHAT!?!? Then she told my brother she has "No Comment" and got off the phone with him! My brother is mad because she lied to him about receiving it in the first place. So am I. So of course I break down crying once again. My brother made a nice attempt to make me feel better....here is what he said "I know how much this hurts, you have done everything you can do, you did the right thing, but you can't let this control your emotions, you know how she is and there is nothing you can do to change her. Just keep praying for her."
I am just heartbroken, I got my hopes up so high as I usually do.

I don't know what she has told her husband about me but I am crushed! Those letters are from daughter to mother. I did not spend weeks, days, and hours being meticulous and careful with my words, structure of the letters, and sharing my heart with her for them to be read by her husband who I have never even met. These were personal, respectful, loving, and she has "No comment" !?!?..........I even sent a mother's day card with it and "No comment" !?!?
I can't call her because she hangs up on me and if her husband picks up he won't let me talk to her and now he is "screening" her personal mail because she said he is her protector...... I am at a loss....... :(
I thought for sure she would at least say something about Michael. What grandmother would not have at least one comment about that? I will still be on my knees praying for her.

Pray for me, I really need strength to not give up hope and continue to give this to God. I am emotionally drained. I better go, it's getting late and I can't stop crying.